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Cite this particular article
Wiley, Angela R. 2007. Hooking up just like the one or two: Correspondence experience to possess suit matchmaking. The brand new Discussion board to have Family members and you may Individual Things, twelve (1).
An effective communication and you will problem-solving feel is critical for matchmaking triumph; not, fit relationship want even more than an excellent correspondence and you may disease-solving experience. There’s a common over-dependence on such as the “royal way to romance and you can a surviving, happier relationships”(Gottman and you will Silver 1999, 8). Such event are very important however enough getting solid relationship and you will shall be contextualized within the big couple program. (To have information about most other secret practices so you’re able to building and you may keeping a beneficial fit relationship, comprehend the Federal Expansion Dating and you may Wedding Education Model,
In her guide, The fresh Dancing regarding Connection, professional Harriet Lerner (2002) discusses having a real voice from inside the essential sexual dating. She contends that a crucial part of having a genuine voice are “openly shar[ing] competence together with dilemmas and susceptability (Lerner 2002, 3). This lady enough time-title medical practice implies that its sexual communication entails people completely listening to both and you may inquiring making clear concerns that allow them to understand each other much deeper. Successfully sexual people are in a position county their ideas and view, even if people range from the partner’s.
Negative perceptions. Negative interpretation habits will are present whenever couples faith brand new bad rather of the best regarding the each other (Fincham, Bradbury, and you may Scott, 1990; Holtzworth-Munroe and you may Jacobson 1985). Such as lovers are certainly not “remaining it positive.” They could participate in a rough initiate-up bid according to an awful translation or expectation. They might turn up against or regarding the mate when reacting in order to a bid. Partners that prone to bad interpretations you will alternatively is actually entertaining an optimistic cause for the fresh new other’s behaviors and you will discussing them with its mate. Particularly, rather than, “You probably did maybe not take-out the newest rubbish as you must create me personally aggravated,” Jim you are going to tell their wife, Peg, “I know your failed to remove the rubbish because you consider I’d convey more to enhance the latest can.”
Love, P
Coan, J., J. Gottman, J. Babcock, and you can Letter. Jacobson. 1997. Battering and also the men rejection out of infiuence of girls. Competitive Decisions -388.